Corbyn describes his missing presence as a traumatic tragedy to the working class people of Britain, even though no one really cares too much about his opinion on the matter.

 

A spokesperson for Corbyn told the story of where he had been for little over a fortnight...

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"He was in Self-Isolation for 2 weeks because he had a little bit of a sniffle... So no one came round the house, he wasn't eating any meals as the chef has to work from home, so he was being drip fed through a bag into his stomach... anyway, so while he was isolating, alone, he got stuck in his chair lift! After about 3 or 4 days he managed to wriggle himself free, but then fell down the stairs! It wasn't until I went round after the isolation period that I realised my poor little Jeremy needed help! So I called the fire service and they came and got his bum out of the chair and helped feed him." - Mrs. Corbyn.

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Corbyn has announced he will be sueing the stair lift company "Need a Ride?" after his rear got stuck in the plastic, and also pointed out he will be spending the next 12 weeks in private healthcare in the newly built hospital, attached to his summer country house.