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MP, Stephen Hammond Announces Cull in Wimbledon
The representative MP for Wimbledon District, London, has announced there will be a cull in the next few seasons to remove all Wombles from Wimbledon Common.
Stephen Hammond was suspended from Parliament in the latter of 2019 for his outlandish plans and requests, but this one takes the biscuit.
Hammond wishes for the cull to proceed after the lockdown across the country, anyone may take part in the cull and there will be a handsome reward for any man who murders the Wombles, especially Great Uncle Bulgaria.
When questioned about the benefits of removing the small eco system, and ex-television stars, from the common in Wimbledon, Hammond replied with simply, "I want a new house. I want one now. I want a big house in the middle of the common because that's where I belong, in the centre, so everyone can see how bloody great I am. Plus Bulgaria stole my watch a long time ago and I want it Back!"
The RSPCA and other animal rights charities have began protests online regarding Hammond's desperate need for attention and many people have already began to help the Wombles grow their family by leaving gifts on morning walks while getting the daily allowence of excersise.